Crazy, random history reflection....Independence!

1914: Amalgamation was a mistake...dem for leave evry body wit him juju and village, den develop am if dem want!

1958: With the drafting of the Constitution…the dream was beginning to look real, crude was also discovered about this time in Oloibiri, current Bayelsa-our blessing…a curse

1960: Formal declaration and ceremonies, making late Dr Azikiwe the 1st ceremonial President…a bright future as Mary lugard has named niger area-Nigeria

1966: Bloody coup by the Army…its execution was and is one of the problems that began the journey to a disunited Naija

1967: secession by a Colonel Ojukwu, Biafra born! the dimmed sunrise of Biafra, if only…maybe we for don become industrial Giants

1970: end of civil war. The greatest fallacy of Naija history by Gen. Gowon “no Victor, No vanquished”…after the loss of millions of souls and casualties on both sides. God bless their souls. 20 pounds for properties owned in parts of the north. Ndigbo now learnt the hard way…buying and selling, even their consciences! One Man was a war hero…collecting the instrument of Surrender! Baba Iyabo

1973: NYSC founde by Gen. Gowon to foster unity…Ajuwaya na waste of time, serving without pride, just a source of pseudo-employment where 40yr olds are happy to be recruited!

1976: Baba Iyabo, then a General Olusegun Obasanjo was given the mantle of leadership after the assassination of Gen. Murtala Mohammed by Major Dimka…he cried like a baby cos he was scared

1980: Power was given to the First Civilian rule and the beginning of the Second Republic. Alhaji Shagari and his Vice Dr Ekwueme. It was in this era that the finance Minister, Late Chief Udoji boasted that Nigeria had too much money but don’t know what to spend it on. Civil salaries were doubled…food e bin dey, water bin dey, and our road bin good…wat about the Ghana people, na dem dey sew shoes and dey teach our people!

1983: Gen. Buhari seizes power, introduced Kick Against Indiscipline. C how people dey frog jump for streets, u cud have been charged if u waka anyhow…for wandering!

1985: A gap-toothed General assumes power and ruled for eight years…Self-acclaimed “Evil Genius”,Maradona SAPped Naija, oil windfall of 12 billion $ vanish, chop-I-chop government. Na here, be the original yahoo-yahoo start a la 10 Downing street.dat was d 1st tym I sabi dat address, no even know wetin e be, u sabi now ba?

1993: The fairest election in the history of Nigeria was conducted with late Chief M.K.O. Abiola emerging as winner, yet annulled!...how much wickedness can come from a friend, on the march again, looking for the man to lead.-MKO is d man o!

Late 1993-1998, another General, a shade-wearing one assumes power. He intended to become a civilian President-perhaps against Papal advice, died on seat…One of Naija’s best Military President, vilified but I fink an unsung Hero. He loved accumulating money. has got his flaws but check the records …steady economic growth, steady fuel price of 11 naira,first world cup attendance by Naija, victory of Atlanta Olympics and Ajunwa’s gold medal in long jump, reward of athletes and odas. –ves: Hanging of Ken Saro Wiwa, detaining and witch hunt of NADECO members with the likes of Pa Enahoro, Prof Wole Soyinka etc in its ranks.

Mid June,1998: General Abdusalami takes his turn, conducts elections…wise man with his white beards and a Statesman now

1999: Power is handed to ? Guess…Baba Iyabo, who escaped being given ‘tea’ and was a born again having only 20 naira, abi 2000 naira in his account…”when providence smiles on a man, how he handles it is how he would be judged”-Anonymous… he ruled for eight years, wanted t change the constitution to allow for a third term. Oloriburuku ni eh ! did some good tins-GSM, good economic team led by DR MRs Okonjo Iweala-wiping out 18 billion $ in 2006, etc…yet He failed to become a revered Statesman by wanting to change the constitution to remain in power,for how long? E no dey belle ful am? Now having billions of dollars and companies…from where? make una tell me!

2009: A covenant between friends is kept, OBJ hands power to his bosom friend’s son/relative? Alhaji Umaru Musa YarAdua…a pawn, whose health status was in question
Ø 2010: President UMY dies in office and after a long tussle and heated polity, Mr Goodluck Ebele Jonathan Azikiwe assumes power permanently after acting…Another Man of Providence after OBJ? he is allegedly being purported by his mentor OBJ, will he make the same great beginnings and worse end?
October 1st 2010, Mediocrity would be celebrated with pomp and gallery amidst poverty and security in the land, with the lives of 15 innocent kid pupils hanging in the balance…Naija, Agbaya

2011: Who rules Naija? Will we see another Mother of all Rigging a la 2007? Will Naija break up against the backdrop of a US Intelligence report? Are we gonna ever feel the pride of singing the National Anthem? When will True Nigerians and Patriots be awarded National awards rather than cronies, political Psycophants and party loyalists? Will the Super Chickens, grow to ascend 5th position in the Worl a la 1994? When will looters and indicted public pen-robbers be tried, prosecuted and jailed? When would these Old Generals from the past, leave our politics alone? Tym will tell….I dey go sleep. if I wake up, maybe…food e go dey,water e go dey, our roads go good.wat about d nepa abi PHCN nko? We go get light, industries go yanfu, jobs go plenty, our certificate go get head, white people go like com invest….hope I no dey dream!

Joke

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.'Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!' 'I cannot jump out the window. It is raining out there!' 'If my husband catches us in here, he will kill us both!' she replied.'He has got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of yourproblems!'
So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them..

Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.
Do you always run in the nude?' one asked. 'Oh yes!' he replied, gasping in air. 'It feels so wonderfully free!' Another runner moved a long side. 'Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?' 'Oh, yes' our friend answered breathlessly. 'That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!' Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, 'Do you always wear a condom when you run?' 'Nope...just when it is raining.

church names in naija

While browsing recently I saw a thread discussing really queer & hilarious names of some (real) new generation churches here in Nigeria. I've reproduced some of them here for your ponderment
Here it goes::.
Jesus Of God Mission (Imo State) God's Mennonite Church Guided Missiles Church JESUS IN THE NOW GLOBAL MINISTRY' Healing Has Begun Ministry God's Own Ministry The True Assemblies of God Church (don't want to think of what this implies of the other Assemblies of god we know) Jehova Sharp Sharp (Festac) Huricane Miracle Ministry Healing Tsunami Ministry Satan in Trouble Ministry Fire for Fire Ministry Guided Missiles Church === saw this one myself here in Lagos. My guess is they're affiliated with NATO FIST OF FURY (NTA road, Port Harcourt) Run For Your Life Ministry === my favorite! Here's the sign for Run for your life chapel The Yoke Must Broke Ministry Jesus Heal Ministry Face to face ministry Angels on Fire Chapel of Peace Liquid Fire Ministries (Suleja, Niger State) By fire By Fire Ministry HOLYFIRE OVERFLOW MINISTRIES David Killed Goliath Ministry (Kaduna) House of Jehova's Padawans (TransAmadi, PH) JESUS IN HIS MIGHTINESS GLOBAL MINISTRY OPM - Other people's money (PH) God in action ministries Moving mountain gospel church MY BROTHER IS A CHRISTIAN CHURCH OF GOD Fellowship of the Wings - Ajah (Lamgasa) Power Foundation Ministries, Aba. === The pastor's maiden crusade was titled: "Your Money is Looking For You" HOLY GHOST ON FIRE MINISTRY (Abuja) HIGH TENSION MINISTRY JESUS NEVER bleep UP MINISTRY (Benin) === for those of you who don't get the meaning, replace the word bleep in this one with the err... the "F" word Devil go hear am Jesus Ministry Accredited Church of God Chukwudi & Son evangelical ministry, Aba === (Igbo man no dey carry last!) Power pass power church of the mountain ministry incorporated Ministry Of The Naked Wire - Bayelsa State LABORATORY CHURCH OF GOD And here's the sign for Laboratory Church of God Go and tell Ahab that Elijah is here ministries - Benin God is Real Ministry. Motto: "Jesus no get muscle but he get power" Fire burn ministries JESUS THE LANDLORD, WE THE RELAXING PEW MINISTRY - Port harcourt Happy Go Lucky Church of God Almighty In Jesus Name Amen - Abeokuta Old time religion ministry Strong Hand of God ministry Best Spot In The Land of God Church - Apapa. Trigger happy ministry. Motto- always firing the devil KASABUBU CHURCH OF GOD - Ibadan Jesus knows his children ministry - Benin SEVEN THUNDERS OF JESUS Perfect Christianity Ministry Elshaddai Shall Not Die Ministries Elshaddai shall not die ministries ...